Delicate
by Lunae.Astrum
Summary: I wasn't used to this...I wasn't used to feeling. I'm a horrible summary writer.


Okay, so I had the unbearable urge to write this. The song that inspired this story is Delicate by Damien Rice, and I strongly encourage that you listen to it, for it's a beautiful song.

My best friend is going through a pretty bad break-up, which is how I heard this song. As I was listening to it, it brought back memories of a bad breakup I went through...So I pretty much cried while listening to the song, and writing this.

I chose to use Axel...I dunno why. I just wanted to write something about him in a vulnerable state. No other reason.

So review if you like, but I won't beg. 'cause I don't like to beg. ^^

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor do I own the song Delicate. Just own the idea of this story.

* * *

I'm not used to this...Not at all.

I thought we were Nobodies...We're not supposed to feel anything. We don't have hearts. No hearts, no emotions.

Then I met you, and everything changed.

It seemed innocent enough, when you were brought into the Organization. I was intrigued by you in the beginning, and really for no reason at all. It wasn't like you were special or anything.

So I thought back then. Now I know better.

I got to know you. You quickly became my best friend...But I noticed I was changing. For the first time in my entire existance, I actually felt something. It was so strange...It was like everything I knew was thrown out the window.

When I was with you, I felt so happy, so complete...Like I was whole.

Like I actually **had **a heart.

I thought I was content with just being your friend, but then my feelings evolved. I was already struggling with the feelings I already had; Just trying to comprehend the fact that I could feel anything at all. Now, I was struck with feelings of longing and aching...Feelings I heard associated with love.

At first, I tried to deny it. How could I feel this way? Was it even possible? Then there was the fact that I couldn't tell you, so I thought. I didn't think I'd be able to face that kind of rejection. Just thinking about it...It hurt so much.

While we were sitting at our normal spot at the clocktower, I accidently blurted it out. I had not even planned on telling you. I was just thinking about it...About you, everything about you.

When I heard myself say those three little words, I wanted to jump off the clocktower. I couldn't face the rejection. When you said it back, I felt so...Relieved. I was estatic, and I truly did feel whole.

For a long time, everything was good. We didn't tell anyone about our relationship. It wasn't because we were scared. It was just so...Delicate. If we told anyone...It might shatter. I wasn't prepared at all.

Things changed...You were getting more and more curious about why you wield the Keyblades. I remember the day you decided to leave us...Decided to leave me. I tried to convince you to stay, but you said the words that left me completely and utterly confused and broken:

"No one would miss me."

It was like a punch in the gut, only a billion times worse. I thought that you loved me...We didn't say it a lot, but everytime you did say it, I thought you meant it.

I thought so many things...

Maybe you were angry, maybe you were scared.

Maybe you didn't love me at all.

Why did you say it, if it meant nothing to you? Why did you fill my sorrow with words you borrowed?

I don't think I'll ever understand. The only thing I know now is that I wish I didn't feel anything at all. Nothing's worse than feeling this pain...This longing...

I sit atop the clocktower, reliving all those memories. I sit here, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. I'm a glutton for punishment.

Suddenly, I see you. You're walking my way, looking up to see if anyone is up here. You looked surprised when you see me, when a sudden change crosses your expression. Something like...Recognition.

I smile a sad smile and shake my head. You looked confused, as if you don't understand. You started heading my way...But when you get up here, I'll be gone.

I leave a small piece of paper in my place for you to find. It states the three words I should have said as you walked away from me:

"I love you."


End file.
